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Wednesday, September 06, 2006

EW Article

Is There a Doctor Out of the House?


"On ''Big Brother: All-Stars,'' the at-risk Erika convinces Janelle that Chill Town is playing them, and Janie sends Will to sequester by Lynette Rice


We interrupt our regularly scheduled EW.com content to bring you this special bulletin: Janelle Pierzina is the freakin' bomb and is just one week away from winning the cash prize she deserves.

Now, to any reader among us who is not enlightened enough to ride the happy train to Janie-town: I suggest you get off at the next stop and bid this summer's all-star edition goodbye. You never did appreciate Janie's brilliance when you polluted our message boards and were too stubborn to even consider what Janelle had that everyone else didn't: the courage to look stupid, act like a bimbo, and continue to chow down with reckless abandon even though the house (and the world) was calling her fat. And yet she still played the game with gusto and aplomb. Even Will couldn't muster a negative word about Janelle in his otherwise brilliant exit speech — other than to say she'll regret her decision later. Yes, she probably will regret it — regret that she didn't shout, ''Got you, you smug little twit!'' when he walked out the door.

Don't get me wrong — I will miss Will. As I said Thursday, this season wouldn't have been the same without his delicious string of lies and deceit, but that got old real quick last night after he threw yet another competition and participated in more misogynistic banter with Boogie about how the ''bitches'' don't control the game. Now I didn't hear Will utter quite as much antichick rhetoric as Boogie, but McPasty did encourage the ''bros before hos'' banter and was even more egotistical than Boogie with his daily declarations about manipulating the house. Frankly, I just got tired of Chill Town's treatment of those gals, even if I didn't really like Erika up until this week. (A special shout-out to the anonymous poster who called Erika a ''bone rack with water balloons'' on our boards Tuesday. You people are genius.)

Sadly, I'm also realistic enough to admit that it probably wouldn't have ended up this way — Janelle and Erika doing high fives and Mr. ''Class Act'' Boogie pouting like a big baby — had Will actually closed the deal with Janelle. You know what I'm talking about, people. Call it whatever you want (but please, oh, please don't let me hear ''showmance'' or ''flirtmance'' ever again), but Will (like Boogie with Erika) did manage to keep Janelle in his clutches with the constant attention and faux affection. Would he still be inside the house had he given Janie the kisses and cuddles she craved? We will never know the answer, because Will kept it chaste for the girlfriend back home and probably sealed his fate because of it. Oh, well! On to his next pursuit: intimidating Chen 3000, who clearly swallowed some air when Will said they ''shared chemistry.'' The man didn't break a sweat during his grill session with Julie, even after he got royally duped by a woman with half his education. (Ah, man, now I'm back loving him again.)

[Read Jessica Shaw's interview with Will.]

I'm not really sure whether I want to devote any more space to Booger. Before, he was the annoying sidekick; now, he's just a flat-out jerk who needs to be snuffed. The look on his face when his buddy got booted stands out as the glittering jewel of the entire season — and the only thing that could top it is if that loony bin of a sequester house realizes how Janelle made the play of the season by ousting Will and, as a result, justly rewards her with the cash if she makes it through this all-important head-of-household competition. As mind-boggling as Boogie's behavior was last night (throwing the first phase of the game because he was convinced either Erika or Janelle would take him to the final two), I don't think he'll be arrogant enough to throw the second phase — and I can't even begin to imagine what life will be like should he actually win the final HOH and get one step closer to the cash. All I can say is, that Bone Rack better be true to her word, fight the good fight in the HOH competition, and take Janelle to the end.

What do you think? Will Erika and Janelle's alliance hold? How will the jury vote? And is there anyone out there actually rooting for Booger? "

2 Comments:

Anonymous Mia said...

quick question.. can you please confirm whether or not will actually called janelle a slut in the phrase "every band needs a slut".. i couldve sworn he said "groupie" but erika keeps telling janelle he said "slut." any way you can confirm this? and a video if possible but just a yes or no will do! thanks you're the best!

5:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm hoping that janie and skarica can stick together for janies sake!

6:39 PM  

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